I started learning Japanese in 2008.
I've wanted to learn Japanese since I was a little girl.
When I first went to class, it was probably the only time in my life where I would voluntarily & comfortably sit alone in the first row. Of course, the studious kid progressed really quickly.
In my 3rd year, I even got through a national Japanese speech competition.
After graduation, I started feeling it. I was not improving.
I was still taking classes out of school but I was not improving.
I sounded fluent which often made people comment that I'm really good in the language but I knew that deep down, I wasn't there.
I went on to complete JLPT N2 and of course, I passed.
I survived 18 years of Singapore education, no joke on taking tests and in excelling them okay?
Frankly, all I did was to know which answer to pick in a MCQ test but if you were to put me in a situation that required me to maneuver the language like a person who should be of N2 quality, I couldn't do it.
Truth is out: I sank into a plateau.
My Japanese-learner friends were encouraging. They understood how it is to have not performed up to your personal expectations, regardless of how other people are saying "I think you are very good.".
I didn't enroll myself into N1 classes, knowing that I still had a lot to work on on the lower levels. Call me a perfectionist or whatever but I couldn't bear not being there, or not being good. I started going through my old materials on my own and went for language exchange events (e.g. Japanese meet up, tête-à-tête etc.). I met other passionate language learners. People are nice and encouraging. They are not shy with saying how good you are at the language or how much better you are than them but I often found myself saying "well I guess I'm not too bad but you know, I'm not good enough".
More than the tragedy of a plateau, I had lost confidence in myself.
I wasn't inferior about myself as a person but I was feeling inferior about my language proficiency.
Some of the guys shared their experiences with me, their own ups and downs at picking up a new language and pressing on. I also met people younger than me but were already so fluent in SEVERAL languages. They weren't the fortunate rich kids who can have someone pay for them but passionate young people who found ways to enroll themselves into languages courses and practise, practise, practise.
NOW WHAT WAS I COMPLAINING ABOUT?
Before university, I blamed it on not having money to take private classes. Now that I'm working, I blamed it on not having time. They inspired me to read up on polyglots. I was particularly looking for "how to get pass your plateau". It took me ALL that experience and time wasted (?) to realize it was due to my own negligence that caused myself to sink into a plateau.
I started recalling on how dedicated I was at the beginning. I majored in Psychology but I spent an average of 1-2 hours daily studying Japanese. I could already write most Kanji but I would practise over and over. Right now, I'm not doing any of that. I pick up my books once in a while to read a few pages and expect myself to have those new words memorized. Time to re-recognise that I'm not a genius.
So, let's not give up! Keep writing, keep reading and keep practising!
OVERCOME THE EVIL LEARNING CURVE!
Most importantly, as some of them have told me, enjoy learning :)
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